Movie Review: 10,000 B.C

    

10,000 BC
2008, 109mins, PG-13
Director: Roland Emmerich
Writer (s): Harold Kloser, Roland Emmerich
Cast includes: Steve Strait, Camilla Belle, Omar Sharif, Cliff Curtis, Tim Barlow
Release Date: 7th March 2008

10,000 BC had the potential to be dumb fun, directed by Roland Emmerich, featuring CGI mammoths and with a ridiculous yet mildly charming story one hadn’t expected a classic but certainly paid for better than he got. 10,000 B.C is a hard picture to swallow, the feeling it literally evokes is that I imagine which could be mirrored by watching someone chuck millions down the toilet and flush. Some of the action works and the picture looks good but the story is horrible and the demented ending is batshit crazy in every sense but good.
Emmerich’s prehistoric epic follows a young mammoth hunter named D’Leh (Steve Strait)as he ventures through uncharted territory to secure the future of his tribe and the love of a women. When a band of mysterious horse-riding warlords raid the Yaghal camp and kidnaps his heart’s desire - the beautiful Evolet (Camilla Belle) along with many others, D’Leh is forced to lead a small group of hunters south to pursue the warlords to the end of the world to save her. Driven by destiny, the unlikely band of warriors must battle saber-toothed cats and terror birds in the Levant. They then discover that far more sinister things are afoot, and a false God is taking all those around him for worship and slavery.
This is the sort of film that studio execs love, big and effects laden with minimal artistic credibility and the high chance of scoring big ones at the box-office. It also actively pisses all over anyone who attempts to watch and enjoy, not exactly the sort of reaction that will inspire big DVD sales but low and behold by then the damage will be done, and this monstrous turd a success. However it didn’t always have to be like this the picture actually shows what it could have been in a hokey but enjoyable opening 20 minutes, featuring a mammoth chase lots of caveman and a hysterically overblown narration via Omar Sharif. It’s this movie that I wanted to see but sadly the picture derails terribly and the end result is made even more disappointing.
Looking at acting and scripting is pointless, because in 10, 000 B.C it’s simply not there. The screenplay evolves in the most ridiculous fashion and a combo of the dire scripting and acting ensure character development is nonexistent. Steve Strait has been given a chance for leading man status with this one but blows it in a simplistic and laughable attempt whilst Camilla Belle looks shockingly glamorous in cavegirl drag but like every other performance she’s given fails to looks like anything other than a particularly beautiful tree.
The action scenes start well but never throw up anything particularly original, basically it’s one chase scene after the other until you reach the muddled and uninteresting “big battle finish”. The first few beast based moments work well but also grow tiresome rather speedily, one with a mammoth at the start kicks ass as does an interlude with a group of 6 foot chickens but everything post that is the same, sans excitement.
point in filming.
The CGI work is generally quite solid with various landscapes and creatures looking rather pretty up on screen. The cinematography is admittedly beautiful in parts and I must confess that several reconstructions of a Prehistoric life are very effective. The pity is then that not only is the musical score provided by Harold Kloser to formulaic the film also lasts at least 20 minutes longer than it should. There are several chucks where the audience will lose patience and attention as Emmerich produces pointless and ponderous little subplots, which largely add little to the conclusion.
There is also the matter of the camp and completely misfiring ending, a pyramid building semi-god who has captured half the lands people for his own means. These scenes leave behind the vast Prehistoric landscapes for desert and are hysterical for all the wrong reasons. To say the final 25 minutes of 10,000 BC suck would be an understatement, they are so atrocious that they derail the already suspect credibility of what went before.
The film has nothing iconic enough to land it cult classic status, like say Raquel Welch flaunting her two best assets in a fur bikini during One Million Years BC. It doesn’t have enough heavy action for Emmerich fans and lose its focus and sense of pacing far too often. Indeed it’s hard to think who this is actually going to appeal to, and I can clarify that it really didn’t appeal to me.