Review: Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Chris Massoglia, Josh Hutcherson, John C. Reilly, Ken Watanabe, Willem Dafoe, Michael Cerveris. Universal presents a film directed by Paul Weitz. Written by Weitz and Brian Helgeland, based on the Cirque du Freak books by Darren Shan. Running time: 108 minutes. Rated PG-13 (for supernatural violence and action, disturbing images, thematic elements and language).

If you are turned on by the sight of a hirsute Salma Hayek, then Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, based on the successful young adult novels by Darren Shan about a teenaged best friends who end up on opposites sides of a war between evil and…well, less evil, is just the film for you. Directed by Paul Weitz (About a Boy) with less of the sensitivity he brought to that picture, the movie aims to be a dark, vampiric funhouse for adolescent boys, counterprogrammed to Twilight’s aim of making young girls swoon.

Straight-arrow Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia), a character named for the author of the books, is responsible, gets good grades and works to please his overbearing parents (including Colleen Camp in a cartoonish turn). Best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson) comes from a broken home, aspiring to cause trouble and cut class. Deemed a bad influence on Darren, their friendship strains until they receive a mysterious flyer advertising the Cirque du Freak, a clandestine circus they sneak out to attend, the first step toward their inescapable destinies, a theme the film hammers home.

The Cirque du Freak reveals an assortment of bizarre characters, including a man missing his midsection, a werewolf, Hayek’s bearded woman, a snake boy and a collection of other absurdities played by good actors, including Jane Krakowski, Orlando Jones and Patrick Fugit.

But the star of the show is vampire magician Crepsley (John C. Reilly), and through a turn of events involving a crafty, supernatural spider, Darren finds himself bargaining for Steve’s life by becoming a “half-vampire” and servant to Crepsley, faking his own death and initiated into the world of freaks, where he falls for Rebecca, the Monkeygirl (Jessica Carlson).

Troubled Steve, initially rejected by Crepsley in his bid to become part of the vampire family, falls in with the dark side, naturally, in this case a flamboyantly lecherous Michael Cerveris as Mr. Tiny, belonging to a faction of vampires opposing Crepsley’s kind, who don’t kill for food. In alliance with Mr. Tiny is an aged vampire, with a thin moustache and wily demeanor, played by Willem Dafoe in an amusing, extended cameo.

The whole thing culminates in a showdown between both sides and best friends, but we can’t escape the feeling that the film is a set-up for sequels, warning of an impending pending “war” on the horizon. If you haven’t read the books—and I haven’t—you may find little investment here and while the film is sporadically fun, it flags in pace and its lead actor, young Massoglia, sleepwalks through the role. While Massoglia is tentative and flat in his role, talented Hutcherson (Bridge to Terabithia) enlivens the film as the kid of circumstances, searching for a family to call his own.

I had a decent time with Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, moments of which reminded me of Joe Dante’s macabre-spirited puppetry and humor. But the film deflates considerably when it settles down to focus on the freaks themselves, who are played by good actors with nothing particularly interesting to do.

The real star of this show is ubiquitous and versatile Reilly. Evidenced by his Oscar-nominated Mr. Cellophane in Chicago, stunted adult in Stepbrothers, musical goof in Walk Hard, porn star in Boogie Nights, duplicitous brother in Talledega Nights and flamboyant con-artist in Criminal—he might be the most versatile guy in movies today.

As Crepsley, the actor uses an often amusing bag of tricks and mannerisms that keep things moving even when the film sags in pace and Massoglia loses our interest, possessing no sense of wonder of fascination necessary as our guide through this sometimes dark underworld. If talented Hutcherson had played Darren, we might have gotten somewhere darker and cared more about where we were going.

- Lee Shoquist