Hae Da Fung, Night 33.  Back from voting off the potted plant called Erik, Denise tells us she could’ve swung to help him and Peih-Gee, but "I decided to play it safe."  Lying in the shelter, Courtney says, "Erik is possibly the nicest person on the planet."  Todd answers, "Quite possibly I agree with you."  Courtney continues, "But on Survivor, that does not mean you automatically win a million dollars."  She oughta know, as she’s well on her way to the Final Two.  Cue opening credits.  Jean-Robert looks like he just bumped his big melon head on a low  branch.

Day 34.  While the others sleep, Peih-Gee walks off by herself in the early morning.  "It’s not easy feeling like you’re the least liked," she confides.  Peih-Gee gets Tree Mail and reads it to the others.  It’s gonna be something involving targets, so that should be fairly cool.  While Peih-Gee reads, Courtney kisses Todd on the cheek.  She is working it this episode, as we shall see.  Todd blah blahs about how important challenges are, saying, "I’m really hoping I’m skilled and popular right now."  Whatever.  Todd really pisses me off tonight, as does another castaway who I’ve previously liked.

For Reward, castaways will fire arrows from a 4th century repeating crossbow at targets with the castaways’ names.  The castaway whose targets get hit the most wins an overnight trip to an obscure little thing called The Great Wall of China.  Before the challenge starts, each castaway is given the same amount of arrows which they then distribute into jars for the other survivors to use.  Confusing?  It was to me until I saw how it was done.  Peih-Gee picks up her jar and finds exactly one arrow in it, care of Courtney.  This is the first of two instances where Courtney proves herself either much cooler, or just more savvy the about game, than we’ve previously seen.  Anyway, Todd gets six arrows, Denise gets two, Courtney gets a whopping twelve (another big hint she could be a lot nicer than the editors have made her out to be), and Amanda gets four.

Peih-Gee goes first, with her one sad little Charlie Brown arrow, and dishonors her ancestors by missing.  Denise goes next, scoring one miss, then hitting her own name.  She’s on the board with one point.  Now it’s Amanda, who misses, hits Denise’s targets twice, then misses again.  Denise now has three points.  Todd proves himself one badass little flight attendant as he scores five consecutive hits to his targets, missing only the last one.  Jeff marvels Todd shoots the crossbow like he was born to it, and Todd smiles, "It’s secretly a hobby of mine."  Like I said, I don’t like Todd much this episode, but he is an undeniable marksman.  "Nice demonstration!," says the Probster as Todd saunters back and lets Courtney takes the firing line.  Remember, Courtney has twelve chances.  Even if she misses half the time, she should win this Reward easily.  But she does something, well, extraordinary.  After an initial miss, she hits Denise’s target, then Amanda’s, then Todd’s, then Denise twice more, then Todd again, then a miss, then Denise again.  In short, she’s tied it between Denise and Todd, and by now it’s clear this is no accident.  I’ve hated Courtney since Day 1, but right now she’s finally freeing the tiny Survivor stud trapped within all these long weeks.  Not only has she shown herself to be just as deadly a shot as Todd, but she can now decide who wins this challenge, and she has enough game sense not to choose herself.  After milking it a bit with the last arrow, she shoots and hits Denise’s target, giving the lunch lady a victory.

Jeff tells Denise she can bring along a guest, so she chooses Courtney.  Fine, the bony wonder did give her the Reward.  But when Jeff says she can bring one more, it’s only right she choose Peih-Gee, right?  After all, Peih-Gee brought her on that awesome Reward two episodes back, and Denise apologized for screwing her over last week.  Peih-Gee calls over, "I’m gonna be on the jury, girl!  I gave you Shaolin monks!"  So what does Denise do?  She leans over to Courtney and says she doesn’t want Peih-Gee to get any stronger, and so she picks Todd.  Cold!  We’re talking Dreamz screwing over Yau-Man cold!  I’ve liked Denise up until now, but man, do I hate ingratitude.  And don’t give me, It’s Survivor, Gare!  She has to be ruthless!  No, the smart play would be to keep Peih-Gee happy, play honorably, repay the person who shared their Reward…then vote her out later!  Watch what Amanda does this episode to see how you’re supposed to play this game.  Seeing an open wound, Jeff can always be counted on to add the salt.  He asks Peih-Gee how she feels about this.  "I took Denise on a great Reward," she says, close to tears.  "It’s tough being left out of everything."  Jeff asks Amanda how she feels, as she’s also being shut out of this Reward.  "It’s not a good feeling, but what can you do?"  To recap, this is truly where we’ve entered Bizarro Survivor World.  Everyone loves Courtney, Courtney in return is awesomely skilled and totally cool, and Denise is a total bitch.  I write WTF in huge letters as we go to commercial.

Back at camp, Peih-Gee is understandably pissed.  "I heard her say ‘I don’t want Peih-Gee getting any stronger.’  Hello, I’m still a person!"  For her part, Amanda hates being left to do "all the work," letting loose a sob as she tries to make fire.  "I used to be one of those three and now I’m not."  She approaches Peih-Gee and asks, "Why do you dislike me so much?"  Peih-Gee says she doesn’t dislike Amanda, they’ve just never had a chance to talk.  Clearing the air, the two women become friendly.  I know, I know, it would be great if they kiss, but that probably ain’t gonna happen.  At least not during the family hour.  Instead, we get all kinds of weird symbolism (as well as a nice shot of Amanda’s taut abs) as she shakes fruit trees.  "We have food to eat," Amanda smiles.  "Yay.  Life doesn’t suck right now."

On the Reward jet, Todd says, "Peih-Gee - we can’t feed her right now."  He continues that Amanda knows she’s in a good spot with them.  "Plus, what’s she gonna do?  Ally with Peih-Gee in the bush?"  Okay, I’m just gonna step waaaay back from that one.

We’re now at the Reward destination.  To quote President Nixon, "It truly is a…great wall."  Denise yaps about how awesome it is to be at this historical wonder, yet all I can write is, Shut up, Denise.  You suck now.   The next thing I write is ANOTHER @#$%ING FEAST!!!  ENOUGH!!!  It’s primarily raw strips of pork or chicken or mouse or whatever, which are dipped in boiling soup.  Todd and Courtney don’t seem so thrilled, but the flight attendant reminds them, "[A]t least Peih-Gee will be weak."  "She’ll also be filled with hatred," Courtney adds.  She tells us it was safer to bring Todd than Amanda, because the latter is "safer" to leave at camp.  If they didn’t being Todd, he’d be angry.  "And an angry Todd is a bad Todd."

Back at camp, Amanda and Peih-Gee bond further over food.  Amanda tells Peih-Gee that Denise has always been a puppet of the stronger players.  Peih-Gee confides, "I got more information on the whole set-up."  Amanda continues she’s been open for awhile to changing up the game.  "I had a really good day with you," she tells Peih-Gee.  See, this is how it’s done.  Amanda has either won herself an alliance partner or a friend on the jury.  Either way, it’s all net.

Back at the Great Wall, the Reward winners are served coffee.  Todd posits, "Let’s say Peih-Gee wins Immunity again, would we want to fight among the four of us, or do we want to vote off Amanda?"  Courtney sees the logic, as "We’re the meanies."  As far as the jury is concerned, "Todd and I are the devil incarnate."  Denise knows someone in her group is soon gonna be shafted; she just doesn’t want it to be her.  And I no longer care, ’cause she’s played an absolutely passive game and neglected countless opportunities to take control of her destiny.  She will be as unsympathetic to the jury as Courtney or Todd.

Day 35.  The Rewardees return to an empty camp.  Amanda and Peih-Gee are nowhere to be found.  "I was concerned," says Todd, "’cause they were pissed when we left."  Looking around, Courtney asks, "Are we getting extra Survivor paranoia right now?"  Of course, Amanda and Peih-Gee eventually reappear and the winners talk about how cool the Reward was, except for the strange food.  Peih-Gee and Amanda are stunned that Courtney and Todd can find something to complain about, even on a killer Reward like that.  They also neglected to bring any food back, unlike Amanda’s chocolate cake lick-a-thon last week.  Denise shows "more compassion," and so Denise quietly tells her, "We’ll talk later."

Todd and Peih-Gee get Tree Mail, which promises a "second chance" at past challenges.  Amanda tells us she doesn’t believe a thing Todd says, and if he doesn’t win Immunity, she may have to get rid of him.

For Immunity, the castaways will participate in a four stage contest, each stage based around a past challenge.  For the first stage, the survivors hurl throwing stars at numbered targets.  The top four finishers - Peih-Gee, Denise, Amanda and Courtney - move onto the second stage.  (Todd’s crossbow skills apparently do not translate to ninja stars.)  For the second stage, the castaways have to eat a balute.  You know, those duck fetuses still packed in their own syrup and feathers.  "Do not think about what you are eating," cautions Jeff, before asking Peih-Gee how she likes it.  "Oh, it’s so good," she replies.  Amanda then finishes hers, but Denise once more cannot do it (see episode 6).  Jeff, who never has and never will tolerate quitters, scolds, "A million dollar balute in front of you."  Courtney finishes hers, and we move onto the third stage.  Amanda, Peih-Gee and Courtney bounce balls on drums through an obstacle course to waiting bins.  Here’s where Denise once again proves herself a dolt and loudly cheers on Amanda, ensuring Peih-Gee has plenty of reason to be an enemy on the jury.  Amanda and Peih-Gee beat out Courtney, and move onto the fourth stage.  Using swords, the two women hack down giant circular puzzle pieces and fit them together.  First to do so wins Immunity.  Two hot chicks with big weapons; it’s like they filmed my dreams.  So after almost three months, I finally have to ask, why is Amanda’s butt always tiled out?  It’s not like her bikini bottom is slipping.  I’ve checked, trust me.  Does she have some corporate logo on there that hasn’t been cleared?  Or is her butt so pageant queen perfect, viewing it unprotected will cause seizures?  Damn right this is the sorta thing that keeps me up at night.  Anyway, it’s a fairly tight race, but Amanda gets her puzzle finished first and wins Immunity.

"I came so close to winning Immunity again," Peih-Gee sighs back at camp.  She believes Amanda to be her "last hope."  Amanda knows she has "a little bit of power right now" and discusses voting out Todd with Denise, proposing they and Peih-Gee form the Final Three.  Denise tells us Todd has a lot of enemies on the jury, which is reason enough to keep him rather than Peih-Gee.  However, Amanda tells Peih-Gee, "My opinion of you has really changed, and I don’t want to vote you out."  Todd and Courtney wonder if Peih-Gee is lobbying.  "Watch me get blindsided tonight," Todd says.  "Peih-Gee is coming off as a fighter," Todd continues.  "And that’s why she has to get voted off."  He concludes if he gets voted out, "I will be PISSED OFF.  I will be livid.  But big ups to them for figuring they had to get rid of me."

At Tribal Council, Jeff can’t wait to revisit Denise’s choosing process following the Reward.  Denise says, "It was definitely a dilemma," but she chose Courtney because the girl has not been eating.  Yeah, except for the other 27 food rewards this season.  Courtney admits to not liking the Reward food, but concedes that’s just her; "Negative Nancy."  Jeff notices Peih-Gee shaking her head.  Peih-Gee says she’s been "fighting every day," struggling to remain upbeat, and it’s hard to hear someone cheerfully admit to being negative, and only here because others have decided it’s best to keep them around.  Amanda says she really respects Peih-Gee, and enjoyed the time they had together.  As the talk turns to what kind of player deserves to win, Courtney asks how could anyone who’s stuck it out these last 36 days not be deserving?  Peih-Gee answers someone who played honorably deserves it more than someone who cheated and backstabbed.  Okay, Peih-Gee, I know you’re cornered and emotional, but no one has cheated this season.  Backstabbed?  Oh, you bet.  This is Survivor.  But saying someone cheated because they outwitted, outplayed and outlasted you is spraying sour grape juice on your spotless shield of honor.  Asked what considerations he’s using when deciding who to vote off, Todd admits, "Honestly, I think I pissed the most people off."  He looks at who he can beat in front of a jury, rather than taking the most honorable player "who can kick my ass."  And so Peih-Gee, last of the Zhan Hus, is voted off.  Todd not only wears an obnoxious @#$%-eating grin, but triumphantly bops his head around like a 12-year-old who’s beaten you at Stratego.  And with that, he’s leveled the playing field for Courtney, as she no longer seems so bad if she goes to the Final Two with this obnoxious dweeb.

In the Penthouse

Amanda - Played Peih-Gee beautifully, and managed to keep a sad look on her face as her new friend had her torch snuffed.  The jury notices stuff like that, Todd.  And for the record, Amanda also wrote Peih-Gee’s name down.  But the beauty thing is Peih-Gee will never know, ’cause Jeff only had to read her name three times.

Courtney - Yeah, I can’t believe it either, but Miss Twiggy actually had it going on tonight.  She displayed both great prowess with an antique crossbow and, more important, a strong insight into team politics.  And with Todd’s assiness growing exponentially, she’s now not looking like quite the walkover she initially appeared.

In the Doghouse

Denise - Denying Peih-Gee one Reward was a forgivable lapse, but intentionally shutting her out a second time was just plain rude, not to mention bad gamesmanship.  She’s been carried even more than Courtney this whole season, and the jury knows that.

Here’s how I see the finale playing out…

Will we ever get a real Amanda-Todd face-off?  The next vote is gonna be one of them, whichever doesn’t win the next Immunity.  I’m guessing Amanda will just be able to beat out Todd, leaving the Final Three as her, Courtney and Denise.  The last challenge is always something involving balance, and here is where Courtney has proven a superstar.  Once Denise is gone, the Final Two will be Amanda and Courtney.  And as much as Courtney has tried to redeem herself, her past bitchiness will doom her against the friendly, hardworking beauty queen.  Amanda Kimmel of Kalispell, Montana will win Survivor: China.

‘Til then!